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Intergalactic Times
VOLUME XXXI, NO 42
1.50
ARCTURUS, TUESDAY, JANUAR 14, 2020
Betelgeuse! Betelgeuse! Betelgeuse!
A recent survey found that not many Betelgeusians have seen “Beetlejuice” starring Michael Keaton, and even fewer have seen the animated series.  After hearing a description of giant sand worms, most said they probably would be afraid of being devoured by one while reading a copy of the Handbook For the Recently Deceased[See BETELGEUSE/page 4]
This article is
very offensive to
Betelgeusians!
I'm Betelgeusian, and
I don't find it the
least bit offensive.
Well, I choose to be
offended for you.