Wish Upon a Greasy Star

[About this Article]
Originally Posted on GeoCities: 1999 February 4

As they drove down the dark road, Billy watched the night sky and wished that a McDonald's would pop up ahead.  Suddenly, he saw a very bright star.  “Dad, look!” he exclaimed.  “A shooting star!”

“You know,” Dad said, “if you close your eyes and make a wish, it'll come true.”

“Really?” Billy asked skeptically.

“Well, it doesn't hurt to try,” Dad said reassuringly.

Billy closed his eyes and silently made his wish.  Upon reopening them, he saw a bright McDonald's sign towering ahead.  His excitement fled, however, when he realized that the sky was getting unusually bright.  “Uh, Dad,” he said as a falling meteor streaked through the sky, “shouldn't the shooting star just be, uh . . . shooting by?”

Dad was too stunned to answer.  He just stared at the bright object that was hurtling straight towards them.  “Dad!” Billy shouted.  Dad snapped back to reality and put the pedal to the metal; he intended to speed out of the impact zone.  In reality, the chunk of space debris was just too big.  McDonald's turned out to be ground zero as the meteor smacked into the earth, and nearby Billy and Dad were flattened and shoved six kilometers under.

The Moral of the story is:  Crappy fast food will kill ya!

  1. I wanted to find the original Ziggy comic that I took this quote from, but I got tired of scanning through GoComics.com, especially after I got my IP address momentarily banned via a false PR_END_OF_FILE_ERROR because I was clicking through single-paned comics as fast as humanly possible.  (It was clearly an IP ban because the error persisted on different browsers/computers, but it was magically absent while I used a VPN.)

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