Intergalactic Times
VOLUME XXXI, NO 42
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ARCTURUS, TUESDAY, JANUAR 14, 2020
Betelgeuse! Betelgeuse! Betelgeuse!
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A recent survey found that not many Betelgeusians have seen “Beetlejuice” starring Michael Keaton, and even fewer have seen the animated series. After hearing a description of giant sand worms, most said they probably would be afraid of being devoured by one while reading a copy of the Handbook For the Recently Deceased. [See BETELGEUSE/page 4]
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This article is
very offensive to
Betelgeusians!
very offensive to
Betelgeusians!
![](pix/balloon_arrow_3.png?1537373421)
I'm Betelgeusian, and
I don't find it the
least bit offensive.
I don't find it the
least bit offensive.
![](pix/balloon_arrow_1.png?1537371646)
Well, I choose to be
offended for you.
offended for you.
![](pix/balloon_arrow_5.png?1576571790)