If your dogs have a counch to sit on,
and you don't,
you might be a redneck.
What happened here was our couch got peed on by a visiting child . . . which we discovered much later in the day. The couch came with the house and was 21 years old, so we decided to just throw it out.
A few months later we got a hand-me-down couch from my wife's sister, so we are no longer couchless.